It has been well over a month since my last post. Among the many reasons for this, I wish to point out the obvious problem of not having something to say; sometimes the inspiration just isn't there, often for weeks. Then suddenly tonight I found I had something on my heart that demanded to be shared with my friends... only, I wasn't sure what it was.
What I mean to say is: I'm not sure what I mean to say.
A few hours ago I attended a high school drama. No, not prom. I mean an actual drama, or rather a comedy: a Broadway show put on by a local Catholic high school. I went in with rather low expectations, but was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed it and how good the production was, for a high school. It was a good evening. I attended with several friends, whose company was enjoyable as always, and my expectations for the show itself were exceeded.
That's why, upon leaving the parking lot, I was surprised to notice that I was experiencing a very strong feeling of sadness or melancholy. I think there were multiple unrelated causes for this feeling, but my efforts to figure them out were largely unsuccessful. It was very strong, however, so I stopped by the adoration chapel on my way home, in search of a little peace and clarity. (So you're not the first ones I'm sharing this with.)
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| "Why do I feel so... meLANcholy?" |
The two causes that first came to mind were: 1) nostalgia, and 2) the situation of teens in high school today. Mostly the latter.
Nostalgia, because I have been involved in musicals before, usually on the musical end of things as the pianist and musical coordinator. I know the blood, sweat and tears that go into a musical production, and the giddy thrill of accomplishment. Tonight, I saw that all again, but as an outsider.
The second cause of my sadness, more powerful than nostalgia, was what I can only describe as a renewed realization of the situation of high school teens today.
I'm still a bit confused, and I'm extremely tired, so I'll be brief. Just from being on a high school campus and seeing the cast members and their peers who attended the show, I felt a new realization that every single high school student is unique and different. I also got to see how that uniqueness and diversity oftentimes gets covered over with two coats of mainstream.
I felt a renewed sadness for the state of teenagers in general, with all their emotions and stress, family problems and confusing influences, surrounded by noise and pressure and obnoxious peers.
Combined with that was a slight feeling of helplessness, like there was nothing I could do for them.
And all that contributed to about 45% of my sadness. The reasons for the other 55%, though still partially unclear to me, are irrelevant here.
I'm sorry I don't have any deep thoughts about--or solutions for--the problems of teenagers to offer here. For those of us who aren't their parents, teachers, mentors, or friends, there's not much more we can do than pray and set an example. But if I'm ever a priest in charge of a school, I'm going to do away with prom and instead run dance classes for the teens every week.
So: high school kids today. Full stop. Now you're probably feeling my sadness a little bit, too.
